


Doing Something

by Diary



Category: The Brothers Bloom (2008)
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual Stephen Bloom, Asexual Character, Awkward Conversations, Bechdel Test Fail, Bottle Episode Fic, Canon Character of Color, Conversations, F/M, Families of Choice, Friendship, Interracial Relationship, Late Night Conversations, Minor Bloom/Penelope Stamp, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, POV Stephen Bloom, Relationship Negotiation, Sharing a Bed, Train Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:52:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ve been pulling a con on Bang Bang for years, and she’s been letting you.” Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doing Something

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The Brothers Bloom.

On a train, Penelope sits down in Stephen’s compartment. “Bloom told me you used to have a rule about never conning women.”

He looks up from his book. “Hey, Pen. We did. Wondering what made you so special?”

“Actually, I’m wondering what makes you so special,” she replies. “You’ve been pulling a con on Bang Bang for years, and she’s been letting you.”

“Linguistically, that’s tricky. Everyone who has a con pulled on them- by definition, they don’t have much of a choice. But anyway, putting that aside, Bang Bang can be lied to, and she can be fooled, but conned? She doesn’t have the weak spots to exploit.”

“Except for the part where she totally does, and you know it,” Penelope retorts. “She wants you. She likes you more than she likes explosions. She cares about you almost as much as you care about Bloom. So, what to do? You could give her what she wants, let her down gently, or let her follow you around in the hopes that, maybe, one day, she’ll get you. But she never will, will she?”

He chuckles. “What are we talking about here? Love? Sex? A relationship? No tricks, or lies, I’m going to be very honest with what I say next: I don’t know why Bang Bang follows us around and helps us. I think she might like us a little, but I don’t know. And frankly, I don’t care. If she ever hurts Bloom, I’ll kill her. If she leaves tomorrow and I never see her again, I’ll miss her. But just because you and Bloom are in love, that doesn’t mean everyone else is.”

“Hmm.” She studies him for a long moment. “She kissed you once, didn’t she? Or she tried to do something. And you didn’t know why, and maybe, you cared, and maybe, you didn’t, but you turned her down. Is that why you’re keeping her around? To try to figure it out?”

Sighing, he shakes his head and rubs his eyes. “Something like that. I leave the heart breaking to Bloom. If I thought she really was pining after me or something along those lines, I’d do something, but she’s Bang Bang.”

“Hey, Stephen,” she says, and her words are vaguely acerbic but not particularly unkind, “Bang Bang is pining for you or something; you need to do something.”

…

He finds Bang Bang eating a sundae.

“We need to talk.”

Giving a small wave, she offers him a scoop of peanuts. He waves them away, and setting her spoon down, she looks expectantly at him.

“Penelope is- She’s definitely the right choice, but she’s also terrifying.”

Arching an eyebrow, she begins tapping her spoon softly against the dish.

“Look, Bang Bang, I’ve never cared why you’re here. But I- I don’t see the appeal in sex; that’s one thing I’ve always had trouble factoring when it came to finding girls for Bloom. And romance, oh, I understand that, but then, not for myself. So, if Penelope was wrong, let’s just forget this. If she wasn’t, though, you might need to leave, because, waiting for me to get a clue is done. Waiting for me to act on this, it’s never going to happen.”

She re-offers him the scoop of peanuts, and he takes it.

…

During the night, she slips into his cabin.

“What,” he asks.

She slips into bed, taps his book, and curls up against him.

He reads aloud, and when he’s done, he turns off the light, and she wraps herself around him.

“Okay,” he says. “Just so we’re clear, though, this doesn’t change the plan.”

She smacks his forehead.

Nodding, he listens to her soft breathing turn into snores and falls asleep.


End file.
